Holidays

Well, the holidays are upon us! We are in the thick of shopping, eating and spending time with family.  This is always a crazy time around here because Hubby has so many end of the year school functions and concerts and Ashley always has end of the year field trips and parties.  While it is a fun time of year we are a little sad that this busy schedule means we all have to wait until the new year to finish up our training classes. But the good news is we should be done with the classes by the end of January. We know we have a lot of paperwork to get done before then but we are both excited to get everything finished up so we can open our house to children who need a safe home.

If anyone has read our story they will know we have been having trouble getting pregnant with our 3rd child. Last month I took Provera to get things started and we did temping this cycle.  I was really hopeful that  we got lucky and timed everything perfectly. I was especially feeling yucky this month and was sure I was pregnant.  Now I am a week late and 2 tests later still a Big Fat Negative. I know 10 months isn't that long to be trying but it is hard to keep my spirits us.  Luckily I have a busy schedule to keep me distracted most of the time.  We shall see.  We may get foster kids before we get another kid of our own.

Communication

Hubby and I haven't even started the training and we are already finding out how important communication is to this whole process.  Turns out he was feeling overwhelmed by all the research I was doing and how excited I as.  In turn, he didn't feel comfortable telling me of some of his worries because I was so excited.  He seemed to enjoy my information so I kept telling him which made him more worried and stressed.  

Last night it finally all came out and we worked through it.  So my advice to everyone is talk talk talk.  Not just one person to talk (like I was) but open communication.  If you have a concern than talk through it.  And if your spouse has a concern don't assume they are bailing on the whole thing. Sometimes things come up and they just need to get talked through.

On another note, Ashley has been excited through this whole process hoping we will get a foster daughter about her age.  She really wanted to have a roommate.  Well, when I finally broke the news that she wouldn't be able to share a room she was super disappointed.  I think eventually it will be OK.  And who knows, we may never get a girl her age so it won't matter. 

Until next time!

Our Story

I am not really sure where "Our Story" really begins. I suppose it started long before Hubby and I met.  While I was going to college I found out I had endometriosis. The doctor said when I was ready to start trying for a baby in the future it would take a lot of work. This crushed me! All I had ever wanted to be was a Mommy.  In school when the guidance councilor asked what we wanted to be when we grew up I always said a Mom (she never liked that answer).  Anyway, you can imagine how shocked I was when just a few months late I found out I was pregnant.  It wasn't planned and a total shock but Ashley is the biggest blessing now.  She brings amazing joy into all our lives!

Fast forward 6 years and then comes another wonderful surprise. Hubby and I met and just a few months later we married. We had both shared the desire to have a big family so we decided to try for a baby right away.  Less than 6 weeks later we found out we were expecting. We were so excited.  Once again my doctors were proven wrong when 10 months after we were married little blessing #2 came into our lives.  Since I am 29 and we felt like we needed to start trying again pretty quick.  I didn't want to be 45 and still having kids. Not that there is anything wrong with having kids at 45, I just didn't want to spread things out that far.  Ashley will be 25 when I am 45 and that is a long time to be having kids.  

After about 5 months of trying we still weren't having any luck.  As a matter of fact, my cycles were getting more irregular and further apart the longer we tried.  One night when Hubby was working late I got on the internet and looked up foster care here in our home state.  I looked at state and private agency and found one I just had a great feeling about. I ordered an information packet and just kept it quiet.  Later that night Hubby and I had a heart to heart where he revealed that he was worried about bringing another baby into the family.  We both still agreed that we wanted more kids but we were just starting out still- married less than 2 years.  I decided then and there not to mention the foster care curiosity and let nature take its course.  

Over the next few months we still didn't have any luck getting pregnant but our finances started to stabilize.  We have been very lucky for Hubby to have a great job and for me to stay at home.  But with that blessing comes its own challenges.  It would give us a lot of financial wiggle room if I were to work but we feel it is worth the sacrifice. Out of the blue, I received a call from the agency I had ordered the information from. It had been several months and I was so surprised to hear from her.  She and I chatted on the phone a bit and she asked some questions.  Eventually she asked if we wanted to set up a time for her to come over and meet the family. I immediately remembered my darling Hubby and all the stress he had.  I told her I would check with my husband and get back to her, fully expecting he would say no. 

Later that night I casually brought it up in a "brush it off fashion."  Surprise #2 came when Hubby said we should have her over.  This call opened up a dialog between us on the subject of foster care and how we both felt about it.  When we had talked about it before we were married we never talked details. I had always pictured it being when our kids were older and we were done having biological kids we would open our home and hearts to foster care.  But now, it just felt right!

The next week she came over and spoke to us.  She addressed our concerns and again, Hubby was on board.  When she asked when we thought we would want to open our home to kids I said probably in about 9 months (this is the time frame that Hubby and I had discussed).  He interjected and said we would be ready whenever training was over. I think my jaw dropped! So we sat down right then and there and filled out some initial paper work and made plans to start our trainings.  

So that is where we sit now.  With the holidays approaching I am not sure when we will officially start our trainings but I am excited.  I feel like this waiting to start was actually harder than the decision to do foster care.  I am ready to get going! Until then I am soaking up all information I can.  I have read blogs and articles.  That is why I decided to start this blog.  Because I have found so much comfort in other blogs I have come upon.  I also hope that this helps me remember our journey.  Even as I write this I find myself searching for clarity among the details and wondering if I am remembering everything right.  

So stay tuned for the next step of our journey!